this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
