shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
