I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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