Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
