So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
