At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
