You were right. It hurts to walk today.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
