nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
