Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
