so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
