found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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