i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
