Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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