Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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