I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
