dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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