so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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