Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
