she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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