Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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