Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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