This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
