So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
