Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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