ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
