I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
