he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
