And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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