hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
