He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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