My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize
