he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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