is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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