Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
