the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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