i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
