you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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