this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
