You really coming over, don't trick.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
