I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
