Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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