too bad you live with your parents still
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
