i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Couch. On fire.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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