I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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