Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
