so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
