oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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