He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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