i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
