I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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