told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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