how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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