Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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