I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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