I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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