hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
