just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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