Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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