the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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