you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
