so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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