The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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